WTF is this all about I thought everyone was supposed to get to enjoy life occasionally. I have no time to do that. All I do is work, go to school, and slave in my house. When I do get out I'm worring about everything else and don't have any fun anyway. Does it ever end? I have no friends it seems anymore. Everyone I thought I could trust keeps fucking that trust over somehow. Their were 3 people I thought I could trust no matter what. 1 i discovered I was just wrong about 1 i was forced to push out of my life and 1 is just incrediably wishy washy. I need to fix this problem I think I will start by getting the one back that I pushed out of my life and to her I say I am sorry i think you know who you are. i love you.

mood: gloomy

So I'm 24 now and my daughter is 6. School is going well I'm not doing as bad in my medical terminology as I thought i was. I figured I was getting a c but I'm getting an A. I'm really enjoying only working two nights a week it's to bad I have school 3 nights a week. Next semester I'm going to the day schedule though so I'll be home 5 nights a week. That will be better for my daughter and my boyfriend. I'm all moved in to my new place however there just is not enough room for all of our stuff. That's ok cause we are talking about getting a house in june when the lease is up. I am excited about that. No squeaky floor or asshole neighbors who throw fits about us walking too much. Apartments are so lovely. I get my tax return back soon which means i can finally hire my lawyer for my divorce. He can't get out of it if I have a lawyer. well I guess that is it for now good night.

mood: calm

I am so happy that I'm back in school. This is my second term and I'm doing great in all of my classes. The only class that is giving me any trouble is Medical Terminology. I hate vocabulary especially when most of it is in another language. I'm taking Anatomy and physiology next semester and I'm a little concerned with that one. I've never been very good at stuff like that. I figure though that if I can get through these two classes I should not have a problem with any of it.
My birthday is on Monday. I'm going to be 24. Good Lord where does the time go it seems like just yesterday I was celebrating my 18th b-day. It's amazing how fast everything goes when your living life instead of just existing.
I'm moving back in with my old roommate. I have till the end of the month to get moved out of my old place so I'm taking my sweet time. He's a really good guy I'm going to go ahead and give him a chance at being more then just my roommate. He's a little younger then guys I would usually date but he's far more mature then any of them. He's 21 has had the same job for 5 years just got promoted to plant supervisor and has a three year old daughter. Plus he has lived in the same place for 4 years. He is absolutely amazing and has a lot more going for him then a lot of 30+ year olds. We will see how things go. Plus my daughter loves him to death.
any way I have to get ready for school so I will write more later

mood: happy music: stranger in my house-Ronnie milsap

Good morning Everyone.
I hope your day is filled with lots of love and romance.

mood: happy music: tracy byrd-jose cuervo

What is Love? Is love that funny felling you get when you think about someone special? Is love the things that you do for someone you care about? How do you know when you are in Love? Is there any such thing as being IN love? I understand the concept of loving someone or several people but, when do you cross the line and go from loving someone to being in love with someone? Why is it that everyone is so preoccupied with Love (including myself)? I'm tired of love, I'm tired of being hurt. I want to live life for me not for anyone else. I do not like domestic demands to be made. I feel that these duties should be shared and done because they need done not because I have to do them out of fear of upsetting some one. A relationship is about working together and helping each other through the hard times. You can not be in a relationship and live for yourself at the same time. you need to be willing to hold the other one up when they are down even if it is not necessary at that exact moment. You need to realize that someday it may be necessary and you should be prepared to do so. In order to love you have to be able to accept their faults along with their strong points. You have to communicate with each other and express yourself. You need to support each others ideas and accept the fact that is is how they see it and not insult, condemn, make fun of or put anything else negative towards them for their beliefs. It also Requires you to compromise and be understanding of how each wants to proceed with their life. Give a little and take a little goes a long way. You can not attempt to stifle the other person in anyway because it creates resentment. When one person starts to resent the other one it creates tension, arguments and leads to un-productiveness which in the long run all creates unhappiness. In my current and future relationships these are all things I must remember instead of getting lost in the idea of love. To all others remember that there is an element of love in all relationships not just romantic ones.

mood: calm music: silence

I live in a world of vilonce,hate,dishonesty,distrust,and anger.
what are we all angry about. Every one says that they want to be happy. If we want to be happy why is it that we spend so much time focusing on all of the negative things that life throws our way. Why can't we take those negative things and find the good that comes with them. Everything bad that happens has somesort of positve connection. weather it be a lesson to be learned or something to be gained from the aftershock of the situation it can never be completly bad. we need to learn to take what we do have and appreciate it cause it may not be there tomorrow. It's the small things that matter. Who cares if your car broke down today you still have a home to go to at the end of the day with food init and things that you cherish. Sure it sucks that it happened but its fixable it may take time but if you stress about it it takes away from the little bit of joy that we are able to partake in everyday.

mood: contemplative

Wow, this is great! I'm up and the kid isn't,ahhhhhhh silence isn't it wonderful. It's been quite awhile since I've gotten up in the morning to no comotion in the house. I had almost forgotten how nice it was to get up have a cup of coffee and spend sometime by myself with the rest of the world behind a computer screen. I can't believe another weekend has gone and past. Where does all of the time go? It takes forever to get the first 18-21 years with over then it all kind of blends together and speeds by without you even noticing. I am very upset the camera I had talked about getting of off ebay has never arrived. I tried and tried to contact the guy and he would not respond to any of my inquiries. So, I gave up and filed my report with paypal to get my money back. What a shame. I was really excited about it too. Jerk!!! I don't feel so bad about it anymore though. I got an email from a lady this morning who didn't get her camera either. Well I'm going out job hunting again this afternoon, hopefully I will have someluck and I'll find something. If not I'm going down to get a job as a cocktail waitress. It'll work untill I find something better. It's times like this when I wish I would have never quit my job at the car lot. However if I hadn't I probably would not be sitting here this second and the thought of that makes me very sad. I really like my journal and everyone I talk to through it. I hear that there is an opening at the carlot again but geez that would be hell. I would not get my position back immediatly and I would have to work on a team with my dad and uncle. Yeah it dosen't sound that bad but if you met them you would understand. well I guess I am just all over the place right now and should probably get my butt in motion for the day so I'm out of here.

Have a wonderful day
*hugs*

mood: relaxed music: josh turner- she'll go on you

I did NOT want to make this journal friends only.  However for some reason some people have to pry into others business.  I did this for the sole reason of keeping two or three people out of my business. 

However I am always up for meeting talking and sharing with new people.  If you would like insight into my little world I would love to let you in. Just send me a love note and the door will be opened whenever you want to visit. 

Marriage is love.

mood: discontent